The Curse of Teixeira

So, last season Mark Teixeira was every Angels fan's hero.  Yeah, we still lost to the Red Sox in the playoffs (AGAIN!), but still, he was pretty awesome!  I can still picture him diving for quick, hard-hit balls headed for shallow right field- he seemed to have the wingspan of a 7-foot NBA player!  Those balls would've been out of reach for most first basemen, but no, not for Mark.  And how 'bout his batting!  A patient switch-hitter, he knows how to work the pitcher.  And if you've got a man on base, forget about it, count it as another RBI for faithful Tex. 

Man, I LOVED him!!!!!! 

Good thing I never bought a Teixeira t-shirt.  What a waste of money that would've been.  I'd much rather spend those twenty bucks on a stuffed rally monkey- at least I know he'll never ditch me for another team!

Okay, so, last season we acquired Teixeira from the Braves.  It made sense- the Angels were headed for the playoffs and the Braves... weren't.  So we got him and beefed up our lineup.  Then, what happened over winter?  Apparently, he lost interest in us.  He dropped us like a bad habit.  Before he decided to sign with the Yankees, I thought he was headed home to Baltimore, and I could've taken that okay- he wanted to be close to home, understandable.  ......... but then he signs with the Yankees?!?!  Seriously??  Dang, how'd they manage to seduce Teixeira?!  He always seemed like one of the good guys (because in my mind, the Yankees are obviously the bad guys, right?? so are the red sox, but that's another story...).  He was always an honest, solid, good-guy type.  How could he stray to the dark side???

Anyway, I guess it's obvious- he stole my heart and then broke it.  I'm looking forward to going to ANY yankees game this season, just so I can BOO him.  I know I'm being a little dramatic- he was only with the Angels for half a season.  You don't see me shedding the same tears over Garrett Anderson who was with us for like 15 years (although I think I can say on behalf of ALL Angels' fans that we do really miss GA and had hoped he would be an Angel for life).  I don't know how to explain it.  It was a different kind of love that Mark got from us.  GA was always there, but he was like a Father figure.  We love and loved him in an innocent, familial way, but Mark moved in like the hot new guy at school and left us mid-swoon.

Not only did he love us and leave us, but he got us sick.  Yes, you heard (read: read) me right- he got us sick.  We have 6 of our regular starters injured!!!!!  Most of them are our star pitchers too!  WTH???  Last season, the Angels finished with the BEST regular season record in BOTH leagues, now, we wouldn't even make the playoffs if the season ended today.  Yeah, I'm not sure we've even won 2 games in a row- I think our win streak is 1.  Yeah, he definitely cursed us.  You heard it here first, folks- the Curse of Teixeira.

I'm not exaggerating!  Look at the standings RIGHT NOW!  The Yankees, who didn't even make the playoffs last year, are 9-6 overall, and 6-4 in the last 10.  The Angels, who were top seeded last year, are 6-9 overall, and 4-6 in the last 10.  WOW, those stats are no coincidence.  It's the Curse of Teixeira!  besides, even if I AM being a little bit superstitious, it's baseball!  it comes with the territory!

Anyway, this girl's heart is not to be messed with anymore.  Mark, you're lucky I didn't pull a Carrie Underwood on you!  "... I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, ... maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."

I'm over you, Mark, you're just another tool in pinstripes!
(no offense She-Fan Jane)